Suffering Prayer: Does it Cross the Line?

We’re familiar with the story of Job. There’s a heavenly wager between God and Satan, of which Job is ignorant, regarding the motivation of Job's worship of God, and whether or not it is truly authentic. As Job is minding his own business, everything he owns is taken, including his family and health. The remainder of the book follows with dialogue between Job and his friends, as well as between Job and God.

Read one of the prayers of Job after his friends once again fail to properly hear his suffering…

“…Surely now God has worn me out; he has made desolate all my company. And he has shriveled me up, which is a witness against me… He has torn me in his wrath, and hated me; he has gnashed his teeth at me... God gives me up to the ungodly, and casts me into the hands of the wicked. I was at ease, and he broke me asunder; he seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces;
he set me up as his target, his archers surround me.
He slashes open my kidneys, and does not spare; he pours out my gall on the ground. He breaks me with breach upon breach; he runs upon me like a warrior. I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin, and have laid my strength in the dust. My face is red with weeping, and on my eyelids is deep darkness; although there is no violence in my hands,
and my prayer is pure.”    ~ Job 16:1-22 (excerpt)

Directness is not a characteristic Job lacks. But did he go too far in how he expressed himself to God? Perhaps we withhold words from God, because we believe them to be unwholesome, or perhaps reflect a rebellious attitude, or even hatred toward God. I don’t believe any of us are strangers to what Job is expressing in this prayer, and his voice might even resonate with exactly what we are feeling, or have felt at one time.

Too far? Well, Job claims that his prayer is pure.

Maybe someone close to you listened to you voice your pain and questions, and perhaps like Job’s friends they tried, with good intentions, to play the role of savior, or counselor. They might have even judged or condemned your “rebellious” approach to prayer and the holiness of God, leaving you confused as to how you should (if you should) express your honest thoughts to God.

I agree with Pierre Wolff in his book, May I Hate God?*, and believe that Job’s prayer speaks deeply to who God is, and who we are in relation to Him. When we express harsh feelings, grief, hatred, and sorrow, it presupposes trust and love. But how?

When we trust God, we are able to freely express our grief. By expressing ourselves, we believe He’s able to take it; that with Him, we can reveal ourselves as we really are.

If our words/prayers are accepted, then love is present. The risk we take in expressing ourselves to God is proportionate to the love we believe is there, and we risk because we believe love is able to save.

So, this kind of expression is actually a desire for reconciliation and healing. Healing for our selves of course, but...

It also happens to be the cry of God’s voice to the world for healing. It seems as if we are revolting against God with our “whys”, when the “whys” we direct toward Him are really (or also) expressions of His revolt. Instead of us accusing God, God is sorrowfully questioning the world through us.

• Why do you distort my creation?
• Why do you exploit and hate each other?
• Why do you continue to forsake My Way, when I promised eternal life?
• Why do you commune with every sinful attraction, rather than my eternal love?

It’s not whether our words are right or wrong, good or bad, but whether we love our Father enough to tell Him everything, whether we believe in the immensity of His love which can understand any kind or level of sorrow.

So what does Job’s suffering prayer tell us?

It speaks of the immensity of God’s love, and the Resurrection power of Christ. God accepts our words, and so Love is present. And when we acknowledge He is still alive and present in our lives, this is the power of the Resurrection. And through this Love and Resurrection life, we find healing; still wounded, but transformed. And because we have mourned, and experienced God’s love through it, we are better able to comfort others with the same compassion we received from God.

Job trusted God, and knew God. He knew God was Love, He knew Love was present, and whether or not what Job lost was restored (the story happens to end with him being restored) communion with God was present, because where there is compassion, there is communion. Job found consolation – not from his friends, but by being brutally honest, and trusting the God who is not always apparent, but is always and everywhere present.

* May I Hate God? by Pierre Wolff; Paulist Press, 1979.

Image: Illumination of Job from the Syriac Bible

Holy Thursday - Take, Eat...Give Thanks

"Now on the first day of Unleavened Bread the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Where will you have us prepare for you to eat the passover?" He said, "Go into the city to a certain one, and say to him, `The Teacher says, My time is at hand; I will keep the passover at your house with my disciples.'" And the disciples did as Jesus had directed them, and they prepared the passover. When it was evening, he sat at table with the twelve disciples; and as they were eating, he said, "Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me." And they were very sorrowful, and began to say to him one after another, "Is it I, Lord?" He answered, "He who has dipped his hand in the dish with me, will betray me. The Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born." Judas, who betrayed him, said, "Is it I, Master?" He said to him, "You have said so." Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and broke it, and gave it to the disciples and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink of it, all of you; for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I shall not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom." And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives." - Matthew 26:17-30 (RSV)

"Take…Eat…"

Eating. Something Armenians especially love. We talk about food while we’re eating, and not necessarily the food in front of us, and we talk about what our next meal will be before we’re done with the meal we’re having. According to American tradition, we have a holiday set aside where we just eat. But this eating is a response. A response of thankfulness. Of course, I’m referring to Thanksgiving.

So what does Thanksgiving have to do with Holy Thursday? What really lies at the heart of our gratitude on that day is communion – with God, and with one another. But Thanksgiving is celebrated once a year. In our Church, we celebrate Thanksgiving once a week! Of course, I'm referring to Badarak (Divine Liturgy, Eucharist). Remember, that the Greek word 'eucharistia' means 'thanksgiving'. And today, Holy Thursday, is the day we commemorate and celebrate the establishment of the Eucharist as we celebrate it in Badarak.

Just like there is a history behind why we celebrate Thanksgiving in America, there is a history behind our Thanksgiving celebration in the Church. In the book of Genesis, we read about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, a picture of humanity in paradise. And what instruction does God give them?

Eat.

Humans are already portrayed as hungry beings, with the world presented as a banquet given to us by God. And it’s given to us for communion with Him. [Schmemann, FTLOTW] The natural reaction from Adam and Eve was to bless God in return; to thank Him with acts of gratitude and adoration. And we read about Adam and Eve doing this when they obediently respond to God by taking care of the garden, and keep it in order.

But, eventually humans turned their back on God, and they ate from the one tree that was not blessed or given to us by Him, and eating from it would not be communion with Him. [Schmemann, FTLOTW] Instead it would be the opposite. Betrayal. Just like Judas in the Gospel reading - in the Garden, Adam and Eve betrayed God. Again, a picture of us.

At the Last Supper, when Jesus mentioned that one of them would betray Him, before Judas asked if it would be himself, the disciples first asked “is it I, Lord?" Why were they not so confident? Like us, we don’t know what we’ll do in the future, and we shouldn’t be so presumptuous to think we’re above any kind of sin. We are all capable of falling, and should remain humble due to our flawed nature. (It was even on Holy Thursday when Peter insisted he would never deny Christ, yet he did that which he could never imagine himself doing.)

So there we were, or here we are, our communion with God severed – left searching, and groping for Paradise again. But in this darkness, God sent a light – His Son – to recover us, and to help us understand, and redirect our hunger. [Schmemann, FTLOTW]

And Lent has been a picture of our journey back to the Garden. On the first Sunday of Lent, we experienced the Expulsion from the Garden due to our betrayal of loving God perfectly. We also heard the story of the Prodigal Son, which represents each one of us on a journey of faith sometimes running from our Father, but always experiencing His extravagant forgiveness.

It’s during Lent that we restructure our priorities, and suppress our will for the sake of God’s will. We curb our eating and redirect our hunger. Again, the idea of eating, and eating as communion with God as it was meant to be, as it was in the Garden, is built right into Lent. Our entire faith journey is a journey back to the Garden to restore communion with God. Lent is just a microcosm of that journey.

And Zadeeg (Easter) is the return to the Garden where we can dine with Him at His Banquet. And Christ is the gate back to the Garden where this newly restored banquet takes place. In fact, we can even see Christ present in the Garden of Eden! As Orthodox priest and writer Fr. Stephen Freeman writes, "We were once prohibited from partaking of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The tree that was guarded was the Tree of the Life. We can now understand that Tree to be the Cross, and Christ Himself is the Life that hangs from that Tree, and it is the fruit of that Tree that we partake of in the Cup of Holy Communion." God’s creation was always to be in communion with God, but we ceased to see our lives as thanksgiving. [Schmemann, FTLOTW]

And so Badarak is the Banquet of Thanksgiving, because the Last Supper is the restoration of paradise, joy, and life as communion with God. Like He blessed the Garden from which we could eat, He once again blessed this food, this time being His own Body and Blood. But before He distributed His Body and Blood, He gave thanks. He did this in order to teach us how we ought to celebrate this sacrament. [Schmemann, FTLOTW] Why? Because salvation has been accomplished. Christ restored us back to what He originally created us to be – in communion with Him. He brought us back to Paradise.

So what is our response? Thanksgiving! To this day, what we do during Badarak has been established by Christ Himself, and our natural reaction, as it originally was in the Garden of Eden, should be to bless God in return; to thank Him with acts of gratitude and adoration. Through the Cup, He lives in us, and through His Body, we become His Body – His eyes, feet, and hands – to do His work in the world; to be the Church – to reveal Christ, heal, and forgive others. Tonight is Vodnlvah – the service of the 'Washing of the Feet'. It’s by loving one another; by washing each other’s feet where we do the work of Christ.

We should also thank God for the privilege to attend His Banquet. And where does that privilege come from? As Christians, we come to this Banquet properly dressed. Our garment is the righteousness of Christ, which we received in Holy Baptism, and is reaffirmed whenever we partake of Communion. In Baptism, God gives us this garment freely. It doesn't need to be earned, or bought. [Freeman] Don’t reject this gift, but accept it with thanksgiving.

So that which began in paradise with “Take, Eat” comes now, and unto the end with “Take, eat…this is my body. [Schmemann, FTLOTW] And drink…this is my blood.” And this can only be found in the Banquet of the Eucharist. So today, as we take, eat, and drink, let us give thanks for the food God has provided to restore Communion with Him, and with one another. Amen.

*[Schmemann, FTLOTW] - Alexander Schmemann, For the Life of the World

Why Are We Following? (Matthew 4:23-25)

In the text prior to this portion of Scripture, we see Jesus identifying select individuals for a specific purpose, i.e. His Disciples. In this passage (Matt. 4:23-25), we see that Christ’s message is not just for a select few, but that the gospel of the kingdom is universal; for all people, everywhere. We also see Jesus becoming, not only well known, but followed by many. But why are so many people following Him? Or WHAT are the people following?

Notice in the text, that it says Jesus went about teaching, preaching, and healing. At a first reading, we might tend to think of these actions as separate, or disassociated. On the contrary, every aspect of Christ’s ministry was connected, associated into one holistic message. His teaching, preaching, and healing were the same message, and not separate actions. In other words, the gospel of the kingdom that He was teaching and preaching was attached to His signs, which in turn made His signs a message of who He is; the Person of Christ, the incarnate Word of God; redeemer and healer of the world.

Perhaps, out of the crowds that were following Jesus, some of them were just following Him as a magician, ignoring the message of the gospel that was communicated through His works. We do know that many abandoned Him at the last hour, and many even advocated for His crucifixion. Perhaps, at times, we are like those who follow the signs of Christ, and not the Person of Christ. It’s easy for us to reflect on specific trials in our lives, in the past or in the present, where this could be the case. In my own life I can recall a very definitive trial, where I was so focused on receiving a sign from God, that most of the time, I missed out on the “joy” of my trial as James writes about in his New Testament epistle. So, what are we to do?

With God’s grace, we need to see the biggest sign of all, which is even found within this text of Scripture. That Christ is revealed among us, and is present in the world. Kreesdos ee mech mer haydnetsav! That is the gospel of the kingdom! When we see who He is, through His signs and works, we trust and follow the Person of Christ, not just His signs, and we enter into and experience His kingdom.

Remember, Christ’s works and miracles were, and still are always about Him, and are always meant to draw us closer to Him, in order for us to become like Him. They beckon us to follow Him, because of who He is; because by His Word and through His works, He is revealed. His signs, and the Person of who He is, must not be separated. His preaching, teaching, and healing are one. We must be careful to not just follow a mere sign, but instead desire to become like Christ, the Person performing the signs. Otherwise, we run the risk of seeing Jesus as just a magician, someone void of a message, merely a performer of 'signs', and not a healer of our soul/body.

So what are we following? Why are we following? Or…WHO are we following? Are we following Christ for what He can do for us, or are we following Him because of what He has already done for us; for the world? By following Him, are we bringing the message of the gospel to the world through our works, just as Christ did? Do our works function as a message, pointing and directing others to Christ, and to His kingdom, just as Christ’s works pointed to Himself? Does our teaching and preaching bring healing to others as Christ's did? As Christ revealed Himself, are we revealing Christ to the world?

May we see Christ as who He is; Emmanuel; ‘God with us’, everywhere present...

...always giving glory to the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

The Ascension and Return of Christ

"And when he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. And while they were gazing into heaven as he went, behold, two men stood by them in white robes, and said, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven." – Acts 1:9-11

What do we picture in our minds when we read this section of Scripture? Specifically, how do we picture the return of Christ when we read, "…will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven."? Do we picture Him returning in/from the clouds? Is that the part of His ascension on which we focus, or is there another aspect of His ascension that escapes our attention?

…didn’t Christ ascend from/within the midst of His people?

Yes, but what significance does this have in contrast to Christ returning from the clouds? Perhaps we can understand this liturgically. During every Badarak (Divine Liturgy), the promise of Christ’s return is manifested. That is, just as Christ left, He returns to us in the Badarak, within the midst of His people, as a foretaste of what is to come, and what is already here. Eternal life -- present now, and in the future when we live with Him in His presence forever.

Here is further insight from an Eastern Orthodox priest, blogger, and author...

"…the classical Orthodox understanding of the relation between earth and heaven; past, present and future; and the mystery of the Kingdom of God at work in the world. His universe is distinctly “one-storey.” This understanding also undergirds the Orthodox understanding of eschatology (the study of the “last things”). St. John Chrysostom, in his eucharistic prayer, gives thanks for the Second Coming of Christ in the past tense – not that he is saying that the Second Coming has already occurred in history – but that the Eucharistic celebration stands within the Kingdom of God, such that the Second Coming can be described in the past tense. The Eucharist is the “Marriage Feast of the Lamb,” the “Banquet at the End of the Age." – Fr. Stephen Freeman

This reality can also be understood through the art or icons of the Orthodox Church, such as the Armenian Orthodox image above (click image to enlarge), or this Greek Orthodox icon. "Icons of the Ascension represent Christ in such a way that one cannot tell whether He is going to heaven or coming again to earth. This captures the profound truth that we are already living under His reign while awaiting His return. Thus, the icons shows Christ being taken up, coming again in like manner, and yet continually present."
– Orthodox Study Bible (Acts 1: 9-11)


I would like to thank Rev. Todd A. Zielinski, one of my spiritual directors, for introducing me to this theological reality.

On Baptism - Part II

Like every Mystery of the Church, Baptism is a response to what Christ has already done, and is presently doing. It’s our choice to receive (or continue to receive) the gift(s) which He has already given, and is presently giving. Although Baptism took place when we were “unaware”, our parents/guardians and Godfather believed for us, and promised to raise us in the Christian faith. When realize that Baptism is a gift from God that needs to be received, accepted, loved, and appropriated by each one of us, our Baptism needs to move beyond comprehensive knowledge and into experiential action or participation, where it is lived out through our entire being. God initiated the relationship, and we must make a personal response to commit to what God initiated. The first response is made by our parents and Godfather. Afterwards, the goal of the Christian life is for each of us to actively participate in the life and mission of the Church (our Godmother).

St. Mark the Ascetic wrote, “Everyone baptized in the orthodox manner has received mystically the fullness of grace; but he becomes conscious of this grace only to the extent that he actively observes the commandments.” Baptism is not meant to be a static event, something that merely happened in the past, and to be remembered in thought alone. It is ongoing and dynamic; a very present event. Our Baptism is to be lived out, continually at the forefront of our minds, reminding us of the words proclaimed over us, reminding us of the promise of the Holy Spirit, and our salvation in Christ through the Church. The following is an excerpt from an Eastern Orthodox Symbol of Faith which summarizes this thought – “For a Christian the path to the confession of the grace-bestowing gifts of Baptism lies through living faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, a life according to faith, membership in Christ's Church, and a constant sense of prayerful repentance.”

What are some practical ideas to help us keep our Baptism in the forefront of our minds?

• Make it a practice to read the words and prayers spoken over you as you were being baptized. Read them often, or work them into your prayer rule.
  
• Remember your Baptism whenever you see, drink, or swim in water.
• Keep pictures of your baptism nearby, where they are visible.
• If you are a parent, show your children their baptismal certificate, and explain to them the meaning behind their baptism, or perhaps their baptismal name.
• If you are a Godfather, then become active. Being a Godfather is not just a status symbol, but comes with much responsibility. Spend time with those of whom you are responsible. Write letters to them. Lead, guide, and encourage them in the faith.
• Celebrate your Baptism as a “re-birthday”.
• Confess your Baptism through a life pleasing to God. Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father Who is in heaven”.

In conclusion, it is extremely essential and vital to our spiritual state for us to personally reaffirm our Baptismal pledge. Placed on the path of salvation, (a dynamic process), we eventually need to take responsibility for our faith by living out our Baptism. God initiates communion with us, and in turn we respond and pursue communion with Him through a life of worship. Have we accepted what was given to us by God at the Holy font, and if so, how are we responding? Let us commit to walking with Him on a daily basis, and in doing so, live out the eternal significance of our Baptism.

Easter and the Armenian Genocide - April 24, 2011

This year, for the very first time, Easter and Armenian Martyrs Day fall on the same date - April 24th. Which are we to recognize? Surely, Easter takes precedence, but can we somehow observe both?

At Easter, we celebrate life, specifically the resurrected life of Christ. On the opposite side of the spectrum, on Armenian Martyrs Day, we commemorate the death of 1.5 million Armenians during the Armenian Genocide enacted in 1915. Can we celebrate both life, and commemorate death on the same day?

What if the life of Christ's resurrection and the death of 1.5 million Armenians are not really on opposite sides of the spectrum? That is, what if life and death, for the Christian, are not so far apart? If not, then perhaps we can connect Easter and Armenian Martyrs Day in a unique way; a way that has never been attempted before.

We can reflect on the idea that death does not exist for the Christian. In the Divine Liturgy, we repeat the words, "You, the unchangeable One, became man and You were crucified, O Christ our God, and You trampled down death by death." The Armenian Christian martyrs who embraced death did so knowing that in death there is life. Today, we can also know that the resurrection of Christ gives meaning to those who kept and died for their faith without compromise.

So, as we reflect on Christ's resurrection this year, let's also reflect on the the death and life of the 1.5 million Armenian martyrs and imagine them echoing the words with us, "Krisdos haryav ee merelotz! Orhnyal eh harootiunun Krisdosee! Christ is risen from the dead! Blessed is the resurrection of Christ!"

"I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die..." - John 11:25-26

******************************************************

For further reading on Easter and the Armenian Genocide, please click the link below to read the 2011 Easter message from Archbishop Khajag Barsamian (from which my post was inspired):

"I have Overcome the World" (Easter 2011)

Krisdos haryav ee merelotz! Orhnyal eh harootiunun Krisdosee!
Christ is risen from the dead! Blessed is the resurrection of Christ!

Stewardship: An act of worship

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” - Matthew 6:21

During Badarak*, the priest, on behalf of the people, brings the Gifts of bread and wine to the altar. In return, God takes the Gifts, sanctifies them, and gives them back to us as His Body and Blood. As the culmination of the Divine Liturgy, this transaction is an act of worship to God. In the Gifts of bread and wine, the utter basics of sustenance, we are symbolically offering to God all of what we have and all of who we are. We bring to God our most basic needs, our whole life, and ask Him to take us, change us, and give Himself to us.

The theological reality of the presentation of the Gifts also applies to spiritual giving outside of Badarak. Just as we give the Gifts of bread and wine during Badarak, we also offer our gifts to God within the community in the form of time, talent, and treasure. God then returns them to us by uniting us to Himself and to each other through the mission and practices of the Church, where the role and services of both the priest and laity are necessary for a thriving worshiping community.

It follows then; that stewardship (giving and care taking) is an act of worship lived out in the context of a worshiping community. As created in God’s image, we are first and foremost worshiping beings, or Eucharistic beings. (Eucharist means “thanksgiving”). Thus, as members of Christ’s Body, the Church, we are fulfilling what it means to be a human being in the fullest sense. As Eucharistic beings part of a Eucharistic community, we worship with our whole selves, thankfully offering ourselves to God, and to each other.

To be a good steward is to recognize that anything we possess comes from God, so when we bring our offerings to God (time, talent, and treasure) we are giving back to Him what He first gave us. In the Incarnation, Christ united Himself with humanity in order to unite us to His divinity. Thus, all worship, including stewardship, is a response to what God has initiated and done for us. Just as we bring God the Gifts during Badarak, let us bring Him our gifts through stewardship, not out of compulsion, but from a pure heart, and love for God, and His Church.

"…for the love in one's heart is made visible by the giving of one's hand." - St. Grigor Tatewac‘i


*Badarak - the name for the Divine Liturgy of the Armenian Orthodox Church; literally means 'sacrifice'.

On Baptism - Part I

Why talk about Baptism? For all of us who were baptized, it happened in the past, and many of us, if we were baptized as infants, can’t even recall the event. Isn’t it enough to know that getting baptized was important to do, and move on to more relevant things? If this is our attitude toward Baptism, then we risk taking Baptism, and all that it means, for granted. Here are some questions to help us examine our attitude toward Baptism¹:

• Is Baptism just a necessary condition for church membership, or to be a member in good standing?
• Is it just a formality in order to receive the rest of the Sacraments of the Church?
• Do we think of it as a guarantee of salvation and eternal life?
• Is it just a past event, or is it a permanent experience that permeates our lives and shapes our Christian worldview; our motivations, actions, and decisions?

In order to understand Baptism, let’s begin with Scripture. Galatians 3:27 says, “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.”, and Romans 6:4 says, “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” From these Scriptures, we can recall how the Church refers to Baptism as the second birth, because in Baptism we identify with and participate in the death and resurrection of Christ. We are cleansed of and die to our sinful life, and are reborn into a new, spiritual, holy life, in which we put on a new nature. We put on Christ, are clothed with Christ, and participate in His divine nature.

In Exodus 14, Moses leads the Israelites, the chosen people of God, through the Red Sea on their way to the Promised Land. The early Church Fathers viewed this event as a foreshadowing of Baptism, in that Baptism is a passage of God’s chosen people through the waters of sin and death to the promised land of freedom in Christ. Thus, Baptism is not only an individual event, but a communal event. In fact, Baptism was not originally a private event to be celebrated among family and friends. It was a community and public event to be shared with and among the Church. Either way, we are brought to the font as individuals by the community, and we leave the font as members of the community; members of the people of God; members of His Body, the Church.

This being said, what happens at Baptism, and what Baptism means is ultimately a Mystery. In fact, ‘Sacraments’ in the Armenian Orthodox Church are more aptly referred to as ‘Mysteries’, and because the Armenian Orthodox Church emphasizes Mystery, there is no obligation to analyze Baptism, explain what it means in every detail, or have a definitive answer to what is essentially mysterious. We do it out of obedience, following the apostolic teachings of the early Church, knowing that it is a Mystery ordained and established by Christ. Thus, within this framework of Mystery, we acknowledge Baptism as an expression of what has already been accomplished through Christ; the grace that is already available to us because of Christ’s incarnation, death, and resurrection. Through Baptism, by faith, we lay claim to and receive this available saving grace.

¹Alexander Schmemann – Of Water and the Spirit: A Liturgical Study of Baptism, 8-9.

Picture above: St. Gregory the Illuminator baptizes Tiridates III, King of Armenia

Unworthy or Worthy?

A common issue within the Armenian Orthodox Church is that we feel unworthy to even approach the Cup of the Eucharist, thus abstaining from partaking of Christ’s Body and Blood. This could be the result of false or authentic humility, or even hopelessness. There is a sense in which we are unworthy to attain union with God, and to receive Him into our body and soul, but our unworthiness should not be the central focus. Like every Sacrament or Mystery of the Church, God’s grace is what is central, and it is because of our unworthiness, and need of healing, that we need to especially partake of this Divine Mystery.

In his book, These are the Sacraments, Anthony Coniaris justifies an un-exaggerated sense of unworthiness when he writes, “Communion is never a reward for holy living but always the gift of God’s grace no matter how much we may have prepared. May we keep our sense of unworthiness so that it may keep leading us to the only One Who can make us worthy. The sense of unworthiness is just the right attitude with which to approach Communion, for it helps us accept the Eucharist as a completely free gift of God’s supreme grace. An exaggerated sense of unworthiness needs to give way to humble gratitude for God’s grace which accepts especially the unworthy to make them worthy.”

Are we unworthy to receive God’s grace through Communion? Yes! Are we made worthy to receive it? Yes! During the Badarak (Divine Liturgy), the priest prays the following: “O Lord our God, you have called us Christians…and you have made us worthy to partake of the holy Body and Blood of your Only-begotten.” (p.44) A few minutes later he prays, “Holy Father, you who have called us by the name of your Only-begotten and have enlightened us through baptism…make us worthy to receive this holy mystery for the remission of our sins.” (p. 45) He goes on further to ask God to not look upon his unworthiness, but to grant His grace through Christ’s Body and Blood.

Our unworthiness should never lead us to abstain from Christ’s Body and Blood, but should drive us toward them. As we prepare for the Eucharist through Penance, let us who are unworthy be made worthy, and freely receive God’s grace by approaching the Cup, and commune with Him and with His people. Glory be to God for this Divine Mystery!

Reflections on my Baptism: December 7, 1975

“For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.” - Galatians 3:27

“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” - Romans 6:4

“We believe…in one baptism with repentance for the remission and forgiveness of sins” - The Nicene Creed

“Thou who hast called this thy servant, O Lord, to the holiness and the enlightenment of baptism, we pray thee, make him worthy of thy most precious grace. Put off him the old garment of sins and renew him unto a new life. Fill him with the power of the Holy Spirit that he may have the renewal of the glory of thy Christ. And to thee, the Mighty One and to thy only-begotten Son and to the liberating Holy Spirit is fitting dominion and honor, now and always and unto the ages of ages. Amen.” - From the Order of Baptism according to the Rite of the Armenian Apostolic Orthodox Church

+ + +

Thirty-five years ago, today, I was baptized into the Armenian Apostolic Orthodox Church at 17 days old. It has been a very joyous day for me, as I spent the day in prayer, thanksgiving, and reflection upon my Baptism. As I offer the following reflections on my Baptism, and Baptism in general, I invite the reader to remember their own Baptism, and how God has been faithful to His promise of salvation regarding this Mystery.

If you were to ask my parents and relatives if they fully comprehended the theological significance of what was being performed on December 7, 1975, they would have said no. Thankfully, the efficacious nature of my Baptism was not dependent upon their knowledge of the Sacrament, and regardless of their level of understanding, the invisible grace of God was present and accomplished what Christ and the Apostles said would be accomplished. Like other baptized Christians before me, I was saved and entered into the fellowship and life of the Church, into the Kingdom of God, with the new status of child and co-heir of Christ.

Baptism is not meant to be a static event, something that just happened in the past, and to be remembered in thought alone. Our Baptism is to be lived out, continually at the forefront of our minds, reminding us of the words proclaimed over us, the promise of the Holy Spirit, our salvation in Christ, and the Church believing with us, serving as our Godmother. Although we are cleansed of sin at Baptism, and leave the font as a new creature in Christ, we are continually cleansed by sin as we walk in this newness of life. Through this Sacrament, we are set on the path of salvation for the purpose of union with Christ. Baptism initiates this union, and seals us as we are being saved, as we continue to 'become' Christians.

Was I conscious of what was taking place on that day? No, not in any theological sense, nor was my free-will involved. I’m sure I only had a few simple things on my mind, none of which were related to my Baptism. However, this is why Baptism is not a private event, but a community and public event. It is why Baptism (even for adults) is not merely about the individual, or their choice in the matter, as much as it is about Christ Himself, the Word, and His Body, the Church. At my Baptism, my parents, and my Godfather, declared my faith on my behalf, with the Church as witness. They were commissioned with raising me in the Christian faith, and that is precisely what they did. Placed on the path of salvation, I eventually had to take responsibility for my faith, and either accept or reject what was given to me as an infant.

As the day comes to a close, I am thankful for God’s faithfulness in my life, making my Baptism an ongoing sacramental event. I continue to pray for God’s salvation through His mercy and grace, as I strive to remain faithful to Him through a life of repentance, living out my Baptism in faith.

“Everyone baptized in the orthodox manner has received mystically the fullness of grace; but he becomes conscious of this grace only to the extent that he actively observes the commandments.” - St. Mark the Ascetic

+ + +

In gratitude of my Baptism, I would like to honor the following:

Jesus Christ, Who sanctified the waters of Baptism, by being baptized Himself, and as the founder of this Mystery, directly performed my Baptism.

My parents, Augustus and Elsie Vozzy, for being obedient to the teachings of Christ and His Church, for taking the Christ-given responsibility of initiating the Christian faith in their home, for not depriving me of this necessary aspect of salvation, and for committing me to the holy font for the cleansing of sin, rebirth in Christ, and membership into the One, Catholic, Holy, and Apostolic Church.

Fr. Garen Gdanian, for serving the Armenian Apostolic Orthodox Church as priest, and for presiding over my baptism, representing both Christ, and His Church.

My Godfather and Uncle, Christopher Garabedian, who has served as a profound Christian example and influence in my life.

Rev. Todd A. Zielinski, who, prior to my re-entrance into the Armenian Orthodox Church, played a vital role in helping me to even recognize the validity and legitimacy of my infant baptism.


The picture above is the font in which I was baptized, located at St. Peter Armenian Apostolic Church, in Watervliet, NY.